Therapy for Men

Hey, man.

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We all have struggles in life.

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We all need support, and we're all wired for connection.

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Your partner is not supposed to be your therapist, and neither is your friend, your colleague, or the latest A.I..​

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Subreddits, generative A.I. chatbots, and social media *can be* therapeutic self-help, but *they ain't* therapy.

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You need to get out of your head and speak freely, but you don't want to burden your relationships.

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You need a therapist who will listen to you and join you through the truth because you need to do the real work.

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You need accountability (a.k.a., "I need a therapist who can call me out on my B.S.").

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You want therapy to challenge AND support you because​ you need a return on your therapy investment.

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Many men don't typically seek mental health treatment. If they do, they don't typically receive gender-specific care. Working with Your Right Hand Therapy Man can help you to "Unpack the Man Box".

 

The Man Box is a concept often used to illustrate "the collective socialization of men".

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Boys are often trained on how to be a patriarchal man:

• Do not cry or openly express emotions (with the exception of anger)

• Do not express weakness or fear

• Demonstrate power and control (especially over women)

• Do not be "like a women" or "like a gay man"

• Be tough, athletic, strong, brave

• View women as property / sexual objects

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We often share and talk about The Man Box in therapy. Many clients have never heard of it before. However, once we start sharing and talking a bit more about it, I often hear people say something like, "I've never heard it described that way, but I know exactly what that is".

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Anger - you know anger because "Real men get mad".

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Sexual Excitement - you know that too.

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Sadness - you know sadness but if you ever showed it, then maybe you were harshly told not to, leading you to develop inappropriate guilt and toxic shame about feeling and expressing emotions.

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Anxiety and Fear - you know anxiety and fear too, but if you showed it, then boom - more critical judgment.

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Harsh criticism, judgment, and policing of boys and men to prove their masculinity increases their stress, straining their emotional and relational wellness.

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You internalize these norms and expectations as your own Inner Critic ordering you what to do, what not to do, what to feel, what not to feel, and how to be a man - the Macho Man, the Tough Guy, the Athlete, the Cool Guy, the Sex Machine, the Provider, the Protector, Mr. Fix It.

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Men are more likely to experience anger, stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem when their manhood (i.e., "gender status") is called into question.

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Shame, guilt, and anxiety start to creep in, and they get tangled up with our core emotions like anger, fear, sadness, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement. These are all natural, human emotions.

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We can help you, and we're not here to judge you for anything. We can also understand if you'd rather avoid it, saying something like, "I don't want to talk about it".​

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Men often try to defend and protect themselves somehow (e.g., avoidance, denial, depression) from all of the big, overwhelming emotions.

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Being stoic and unemotional, doom-scrolling, playing video games, gambling, binge drinking booze, smoking and vaping nicotine, getting high, masturbating to pornography, sleeping it off, over-eating, over-working, over-exercising, stonewalling, isolating, withdrawing from others, and being tough can all become harmful forms of emotional avoidance, which actually creates additional, unintended stress.

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Unfortunately, male avoidance of emotions is a common factor that contributes to internalized attacks against the Self (e.g., anxiety, depression, shame, negative self-image, etc.) and also externalized attacks toward other people (physical, sexual, and verbal aggression).

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You're tired of trying to prove that you're "man enough".

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Working with an experienced male therapist can give you the therapeutic space and support that you need to learn more about everything, get to the heart of it, and get you that return on your therapy investment.